Master instead of control…

Master instead of control… 

One of my survival mechanism for years was control. Control of my feelings and emotions so they didn’t came out as an exploding volcano and I would regret later. 

I felt that being angry, sad, anxious and name all the other emotions we define as negative, were a sign of weakness and that needed to be controlled. 

When growing up I heard a lot of times to lower my voice, to not speak that much, to be more quiet, to not have so much (restless) energy…
Control of how my house looked, where items should be and organizing all the time.
When it was a mess in my eyes the inner volcano started to bubble and I needed to control that.
I only could take a seat when everything was in order no matter how I felt. 

Some of us have this regarding cleaning. Everything has to be clean, for example before you leave for holiday (except for the hygienic reasons) or when you are about to give a party. 

You can imagine how my control got worse when I became a mom 14 years ago… 

Control of my outer circumstances which you can guess are hard to control and most of the time out of your power. Whatever happened outside of me, it had an impact and I could dwell in drama and suffering. A big “poor me”, why? and victim mentality… 

I subconsciously had a lot of judgment while I hated that when I was a child. I always felt we are all equal though I was really good at pointing my finger towards others. 

When I was about to loose control, simply because your inner self, emotions and feelings will find a way out. 

I got impatient, didn’t want to be in the now, always focused on the future, it would be better then and more of that… 

Simply said I didn’t know how to release the control and how to behave and act or react differently in above situations, which are called life.
Control was what I knew. It was an illusion of safety and to be honest a excuse and trying to find a way out of taking part in life and live to the fullest. 

When I started my energy healing journey and business almost 8 years ago my mentor started to explain about MASTERING your emotions. 

I was on the end of my chair, because MASTERING was exactly what I tried to do.
Let me explain the difference.
Mastering is positive.
It’s about allowing all emotions to be there.
It’s about acceptance.
It’s about allowing.
It’s about embracing it all, because all emotions are part of who we are.
It’s about being and feeling steady regardless of what emotion pops up.
It’s about being kind and gentle to yourself, your emotions and your actions afterwards.
It’s about acknowledgment and recognition.
It’s about mastering your energy and where your energy goes and flows.
It’s all about getting to know yourself better into depth. 

Mastering versus controlling. 

Controlling is dominant.
It’s about suppression.
It’s about rejection a part of you.
It’s about regretting your actions afterwards.
It’s about resentment of what or others did.
It’s about the choice and free will be have as human beings how to feel and behave.
It’s about choosing what to focus on, positive or negative.
It’s about being open and honest to yourself about what is really going on.
It’s about keeping yourself small.
It’s about leaking energy to what you don’t want.
It’s about costing you a lot of energy while not recognizing your entire being.

So what really helped me is to monitore my emotions. To get step by step more conscious about my thoughts.
You can simply categorize your thoughts into 4 divisions: 

1) Optimism; everything is always bright and shiny though this is not quite what reality really is…
2) Positive thinking; see the good, the positive in every situation while facing reality…
3) Pessimistic; nothing is ever good or positive…
4) Negative thinking; for example when you are tired it’s easier to see the dark side of things…

So I want you to invite to start monitoring your thoughts with kind eyes. Just observe… 

Ciao for now…